Most of us seek perfection. We want everything to be perfect and it is often a trap we are caught in. Perfection is an illusion. Excellence, on the other hand, is something that lets us push ourselves and challenges us a lot more. One of the greatest challenges that we could face while we set our goals is falling into the trap of perfection. Goals are important, because without goals we may find ourselves lost. It is important to be aware of how to go about setting goals to strive for excellence and not set yourself up for failure by looking for perfection.
Signs that you are looking for perfection
Most of us don’t realize that we are getting into the unhealthy perfectionist trap. But there are signs you can watch out for.
- Highly self-critical – Being self-critical also means that your motivation levels are going to dip every time. Being critical also means that you would not appreciate your progress in any way, or even accept any kind of appreciation from anyone. This leads us to burnout and certainly stops us from achieving our goals and performing.
- Inconsistent performance – This comes with fluctuating motivation levels. Performance during the competition is probably not even 50% of your capability.
- Emotional rollercoaster – There are many emotions like guilt, pride, anger, frustration that you begin to experience in an unhealthy manner. This also puts you in a helpless state.
- Anxiety, nervousness and panic – There is a sense of disapproval and insecurity; fear of failing yourself, coaches and parents. This fear and anxiety takes over before the competition.
- Different eating and sleeping patterns – Sometimes the pressures and stress could let you get into a very different and dysfunctional eating and sleeping pattern – either under or over eating or sleeping.
These things could happen to any of us when we set goals and try to achieve them. Most of us set goals but we barely achieve the goals that we have set because of this trap. So how do we set goals to help ourselves achieve it rather than getting stuck.
Goals are nothing but where we want to be and what we would want to do. It is an indicator of your effort. Achieving goals is a process rather than a one-time end result. The “achieving” happens day in and day out. The most important point to understand when it comes to setting better goals is to have an Outcome-oriented goal and many process-oriented goals.
Usually when we set goals, we only set outcome-oriented ones. We fail to set goals for the process. We fail to create a plan and look for progress, hence getting obsessed with the outcome goal as such and benchmarking ourselves there right from the beginning. This sets you up to judge and undervalue yourself constantly.
Goals are set so that we work our way to improving ourselves, obsessing over the goal as such without a plan certainly does not allow us to improve. Hence the purpose in itself is defeated. We all have a current reality – where we are right now, which could be different from your goal – where you would like to be. This makes it crucial for us to understand and accept where we are currently so that we could take the first step to even move towards our goal.
Setting goals for excellence
So what are the things you might want to keep in mind when you set your goals ?
- Have an outcome oriented goal and a few process oriented goals.
- Both of these need to be very specific. It has got to be exactly what you want. For example, “I want to get better at badminton” is not a specific goal, it is a vague goal. Better is a very relative term. So “I want to be ranked 15 in the U-15 category in the State level competition” – that would be a specific goal.
- Assess your current reality in both process and outcome goals. This is a very important step because it allows you to know how much effort to put in and also embrace the progress you make over time.
- Review every few months . This enables you to understand if you are heading in the right direction. This is crucial so that you don’t lose track over time.
- Realign your process goals. Process goals need to be reviewed and realigned. It is essential to rework the process goals every few months so that you notice your progress.
These are some of the pointers that help you set goals and strive for excellence rather than getting stuck in the trap of perfection.
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